It is no secret that a person struggling with addiction has their life altered in various ways. The impact of the disease on their brain can cause them to behave in ways they never would while sober, causing strained relationships with loved ones. Many individuals struggling with addiction find themselves lying, stealing, or directly harming their loved ones due to addiction. Many individuals that know someone with addiction learn how manipulative they can be to get their next fix.
Gaslighting is commonly used to maintain addictive behavior, yet few truly understand what it means. By recognizing gaslighting in your life, you can end this abusive behavior and get help for addiction.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person uses lies, deceit, and various forms of manipulation to cause others to confuse or doubt their reality, memories, or sanity. The term comes from the 1944 film Gaslight where a husband begins manipulating his wife through dimming their gas-fueled lamps and convincing her she is hallucinating or having some form of mental illness.
Over time, the person being gaslighted becomes unable to trust themselves and relies more heavily on the manipulator. The individual being gaslighted will often struggle with anxiety and confusion as the manipulator continues using gaslighting to get what they want. The process of gaslighting is covert and often goes undetected because the victim usually shows no physical signs of abuse. Many victims do not realize they are being gaslighted until later on.
Because gaslighting is a form of manipulation that causes you to doubt your memories, reality, and sanity, it can be difficult to recognize signs of it. However, knowing the common signs of gaslighting can help you identify it in your own life and break the cycle. Common signs of gaslighting include:
Individuals struggling with addiction typically know that their actions are causing adverse effects on their lives and the lives of those around them. They also know that their loved ones will disapprove of their actions, so they engage in negative behaviors such as lying, sneaking, and stealing to maintain their addiction. Some will develop manipulation tactics to keep others from stopping their addiction.
For example, the beginning of addiction may include a person hiding their habits by sneaking around, acting suspiciously, and lying to their loved ones. However, their loved ones will naturally become concerned over time because of these actions and begin confronting the person with the addiction. As this occurs, the person struggling may start telling friends and family that they are overreacting, making a mountain out of a molehill, misinterpreting the situation at hand, or making up details.
Since individuals with addictions might go to great lengths to maintain their habits, this manipulation can cause their loved ones to doubt their perceived reality and accept the alternate version of the truth. Therefore, the person can maintain their addiction as long as they manipulate friends and family into believing nothing is wrong.
When you are on the outside looking in, it is all too easy to view your loved one’s actions as a personal attack meant to hurt you. You may think that they are purposely trying to hurt you, especially when the hurt is ongoing. However, it is vital to understand the ways that addiction impacts the brain. Because it hijacks the brain, addiction causes individuals to do things they never would if they were sober.
The person is more concerned about their next fix and maintaining their addiction than the well-being of their loved ones and the relationship they have with them. Therefore, they will do what they must to fight resistance that friends and family may give them to maintain their addiction and get their next fix.
By learning the specifics about the disease, you can recognize the way your loved one is impacted and protect your mental health by realizing they are not trying to hurt you purposely. The best way to break the cycle is to seek professional help for yourself. Once taking care of your mental health, you can begin researching ways to help your loved one break the cycle of addiction.
Gaslighting is common in addiction because it allows the person to continue their behaviors without having constant resistance from loved ones. Loved ones may not realize they are being gaslighted until later on, thus causing further strain and hurt in the relationship. Understanding specific details about addiction and gaslighting is crucial to recognize the disease’s impact on your loved one. You should also identify the signs of gaslighting in your life to know if it is happening to you. Professional help is available to help you and your loved one that is struggling. NorthStar Transitions specializes in helping people recover from addiction and teaching their loved ones how to cope with the situation. Through traditional and holistic treatment methods, we cater to various needs that our patients display. Nestled in the beautiful mountains of Colorado, your loved one and family can receive the treatment needed for a long, happy life in sobriety. To learn more about our programs, call (303) 558-6400.
