Parents who have struggled with addiction often feel guilty about their influence on their kids. They may fear they are not setting a good example or feel they have let their kids down. A parent's addiction does affect children. However, getting help and taking responsibility sets a more crucial precedent than you may think.
You can find the balance between setting a good example for your kids and navigating recovery. With time, you can rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship with your kids. NorthStar Transitions can help you navigate this new world of being a parent in recovery.
Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world. However, raising a child does not come without challenges. You will have many difficult conversations with your child throughout their lifetime. For you, that may include sitting them down to talk about addiction.
Depending on how old your children are, they may already know about addiction. With younger kids, it may be harder to explain. It may help to start by explaining that addiction is a disease that affects you. This disease has many symptoms, including unwanted behaviors. Also, like other diseases, addiction requires treatment.
Of course, you can discuss your personal experiences with addiction. You know your children best and will have a gut instinct of what you should or should not share. Sharing your experience may help your child empathize more. This is, again, dependent on their age and maturity.
Additionally, when talking to your child about addiction, stress that your struggle is not their fault. Children, especially in their younger years, are sometimes quick to think a parent's struggle is their fault. No child wants to feel like that. Reassure them that addiction is a complex mental disorder, and they are not at fault for its development.
As you progress in recovery, your family will need to have other difficult conversations. In fact, the more you can communicate as a family unit, the better your children can feel heard and misunderstood.
To facilitate this, consider attending family counseling. This form of therapy can help your kids cope with their feelings about this complicated situation. Addiction impacts the whole family, and they may be struggling to process its impacts on them. Counseling can help your children understand and express these feelings.
Attending counseling also shows your children a healthy way of dealing with problems. This can encourage them to reach out if they are struggling in the future. It may make them less likely to turn to substances instead.
Parenting in recovery is no easy task. Fortunately, there are many in-person and virtual resources available to parents in recovery.
During your treatment program, you will have access to counselors and treatment professionals who can help. After treatment, you can continue obtaining support through NorthStar Transitions' alumni program. This program keeps you connected to the recovery community. You can seek meaningful advice from others in recovery, including other parents.
The alumni program is a formidable tool that you should consider incorporating into your recovery regimen. It can be especially helpful if you are concerned about setting a good example for your kids in recovery.
Speaking of setting a good example for your child in recovery, did you know you've already begun doing that? It takes a lot of courage to seek addiction treatment. To do so, you must acknowledge the problem and take responsibility for it.
One of the biggest life lessons every child must learn is to take responsibility for their actions. Showing them that you decided to seek treatment and change your life regardless of the consequences teaches them a valuable life lesson. As you continue to take responsibility for your recovery, you are continually setting a good example for your kids.
There are many other ways you can be a good example for your kids. The good news is that all the skills that benefit your recovery are skills that your kids benefit from seeing you use. For example, you are setting a good example when you:
As parents, it's so easy for us to feel guilt or shame about how addiction and mental health concerns impact our children and families. But, at the end of the day, every parent is flawed in some way. What's important is that we try our bests. That's what makes a parent great.
Many parents grapple with intense feelings of guilt about the ways they fear they have let their children down. No matter how hard we try, we must accept that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Every parent fails in one way or another. Your struggle with addiction does not mean you cannot be a good parent. In fact, seeking treatment teaches your children a valuable life lesson: how to take responsibility for their decisions no matter the consequences. Seeking treatment is the first vital way you have started setting a good example for your kids in recovery. For additional support in managing parenthood and recovery simultaneously, call NorthStar Transitions at (303) 558-6400.
