As a parent that has struggled with addiction, you most likely understand the harm it can cause to those you love, especially when it comes to your kids. They most likely suffered the consequences of your addiction on a more personal level. Now that you are out of treatment and navigating a newly sober life, you may be wondering if it is time to reconnect with your kids. Knowing how to do this is a unique situation, but it is possible to rebuild those relationships over time. Learning how to reconnect can give you a better idea of what you can do to bridge the gap between you and your children. This way, you can rebuild the relationships and reconnect with them for a stronger bond.
The first step in reconnecting with your children is understanding where your relationship currently stands with them. While you are in treatment, it can be easy to assume that everything will be fine once you finish and go home. However, returning home can be a reality check as you see the toll your addiction took on your children. It is crucial to think about precisely what your children were exposed to, which can include:
Taking a look at what you have put your children through can be a challenging process, but it is necessary to face the ugly truths of your addiction to start the process of reconnecting with them. From here, you can begin taking steps to rectify the harm and rebuild the relationships.
After treatment, you may still meet with a therapist or other support to receive ongoing maintenance through your transition back into everyday life. Your therapist can help point you in the right direction of approaching the situation. They can offer different perspectives that you may not be considering since you have been in rehab for an extended amount of time. They may also be able to help you face the ugly truths of what your children went through as a consequence of your addiction to help you know the damage that was done. Once you have discussed the various options with this person, you can begin taking more concrete steps towards a relationship with your children.
You may be hesitant to begin the process of reconnecting with your children because of hidden resentments as a result of your addiction. However, the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to make things right and have those connections. Approach your children on the subject by offering to answer questions and be there for them. Take things slowly, as they may not be ready to jump right into a relationship with you. Ensure they know you are available if they want to ask questions or talk about what happened, and remember always to be upfront and honest with them; this is the time to begin earning their trust back.
Some children internalize their parents’ addiction and blame themselves for what is happening. It can be challenging to comprehend active addiction as a younger child or teen, and therefore it is vital to make sure your child understands that it wasn’t their fault. Tell them that you are responsible for your actions, and there was nothing they could’ve done to make things different. If they are older, you can explain to them that addiction is a chronic disease and how it affects a person.
Once you leave rehab, you should still attend support group meetings or ongoing outpatient treatment; this will help you transition back into everyday life and stay motivated in your recovery. It will also show your children that you are serious about getting better and putting in the work to maintain your sobriety. Continuing aftercare can make all the difference in rebuilding the relationship, as they see that you are determined to get better and earn back their trust.
While you may be hoping to reconnect with your children after leaving treatment, you must realize that not everyone will be ready to see you again and have you in their life, including your children. There is always a chance that your efforts will not be received well, and they may not want to reconnect with you now. All you can do is let them know you are available and continue with aftercare, as this will show you are serious about recovery and staying sober. You can reach out from time to time, but remember to be patient. They may eventually come around when they have done their own healing, but you cannot control what they do or don’t do.
Reconnecting with children after facing addiction is a challenging endeavor. It takes time, determination, and hard work, but it is possible to rebuild those relationships. You must show patience and be willing to be open and honest with them if they come to you with questions. You should also prepare for the possibility of them rejecting a relationship with you, as everyone heals at their own pace, and they may not be ready to see you just yet. At Northstar Transitions, we believe in family education regarding addiction treatment. We understand the significant role that family plays and want to give you and your loved ones the best opportunity for healing through family therapy. We can help bridge the gaps in relationships and reconnect the family unit for a better tomorrow. Call us today to learn more about our family programs and how you can reconnect with your kids after treatment. Contact us today at (303) 558-6400.
