It’s a conversation you hope never to have, but there may come a time when you find yourself in the position of explaining addiction to your children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews. Maybe they have questions after learning about it in school or have witnessed the effects of it firsthand at home.
It’s a difficult topic to address, but having an age-appropriate conversation with kids about addiction can build understanding and provide them with some relief from the guilt or anxiety they may be experiencing, helping them make sense of the world around them.
At NorthStar Transitions, we understand the challenges families face when addressing such sensitive topics. Keep reading to learn more about talking to kids about addiction and how it can empower them to navigate a difficult situation more effectively.
Addiction doesn’t just affect the individual using drugs or alcohol — it also has a significant impact on those around them, and this is especially true when children are involved. Substance use in the home can impact kids in several ways. A lack of stability can leave them feeling insecure or uncertain, and they might experience guilt or shame as they try to hide their family’s “secret.” They’re also more likely to be physically or emotionally neglected.
In addition, parental substance use can increase a child’s risk of experiencing:
These effects are why it’s so important to have a conversation about what’s happening. It gives the child an opportunity to ask questions and express their concerns, which can help prevent them from internalizing negative emotions. It can also help them understand that a parent or caretaker’s addiction is not their fault and alleviate some of the anxiety they may feel.
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), about 1 in 35 (2.1 million) children aged 17 or younger lived in a home with at least one parent who had an illicit drug use disorder, while about 1 in 10 (7.5 million) lived in a household with at least one parent with alcohol use disorder. These numbers highlight the widespread nature of parental addiction and the need to help young people navigate the effects it can have. Addressing their reality with open and honest conversations can help children who are affected cope better and bring awareness to a problem that often remains hidden in plain sight.
Kids living in a home where substance use is a problem might find life unpredictable or even baffling. They may not understand why, but they do know that something isn’t quite right. Without any real information to guide them, their imaginations can start running wild and filling in the blanks with different scenarios.
To help kids cope with the challenges of living in a home affected by substance use, it's crucial to talk openly and honestly with them about addiction. Clear, straightforward and age-appropriate conversations can help lessen their fear and confusion, equipping them to deal with potential situations they may face and process what’s happening around them.
When talking to young children about addiction, keep it simple. Explain that their parent, family member or caretaker has an illness that makes them feel like they need something very badly to function. Even at this age, toddlers and preschoolers might have questions — listen to and address their concerns while reassuring them that they are safe and loved.
When children are a little older, you can provide some more information about the concept of addiction. You might explain that it is a disease that makes it difficult for people to stop using drugs or alcohol even when it hurts them (or those around them).
Kids at this age might ask difficult or challenging questions; try to address them and be honest but not too negative with your responses. You can also talk about how a person’s behavior might change because of addiction and emphasize that it’s not the child’s fault.
Adolescents and teenagers are better able to understand and process difficult topics like addiction. Make sure you answer their questions openly and honestly to ensure that they have all the facts about their parent’s substance use. This is also a good time to talk about the consequences of addiction and how it can affect one’s health, happiness and life opportunities.
If they’re looking for more resources or information, there are support groups for children of parents with substance use issues. Alateen is a fellowship of young Al-Anon members (usually adolescents or teenagers) whose lives have been affected by addiction. Connecting with others who understand what they’ve been through can help them process their experiences.
The National Association for Children of Addiction (NACoA) provides resources for children who have been affected by substance use within the family. They list seven things (The Seven Cs) that adults can teach kids to help them cope with a parent or loved one’s addiction:
We’re often tempted to put off things that are difficult or scary. But when it comes to talking to children about addiction — especially if they are seeing its effects in their own homes — you should consider broaching the subject as soon as possible. However, be sure to pick the right time and place, and don’t force a child to talk if they aren’t ready yet.
A particularly opportune moment to initiate (or continue) these discussions is when a parent or family member is undergoing treatment. This can be a time of significant change and potential confusion for a child, and discussing it openly can provide them with clarity and reassurance.
At NorthStar Transitions, we recognize the critical role of family involvement in the recovery process. We encourage incorporating children into family therapy sessions whenever appropriate. This inclusion helps children understand the nature of addiction and the efforts being made to overcome it, which can be incredibly empowering.
If you or a loved one is struggling with substance use, know that you don't have to face it alone. At NorthStar Transitions in Boulder, Colorado, we provide comprehensive support for families navigating the complexities of addiction and recovery. Our treatment programs are designed to help individuals work toward lasting sobriety while ensuring that all members of the family — including children — have the support and understanding they need to heal.
If you’d like to learn more about our treatment programs or want additional guidance on speaking to children about addiction, we encourage you to reach out to us. Call our admissions team today at 866-407-2240 or complete our online contact form to get started.
