Social events can be a challenge to overcome once you have entered recovery. They can even be difficult if you have a significant amount of time sober under your belt. Events outside of your normal routine can throw a wrench in your life and recovery rhythm. Though gatherings and celebrations are a necessity for living a healthy social life, being outside your normal routine means there is room for unknown factors, which can bring on stress.
With all that said, events like weddings, concerts, and family outings should not be avoided, even if there is a higher chance you will encounter substances than in your normal day-to-day life. Social events provide opportunities to see people you normally would not and make new connections. Fortunately, there are things you can do to eliminate some of the stress that can come with events, in whatever form they might take.
Communication is key. When you feel uncomfortable in a situation, it can be easy to seclude yourself and hide away. Communicating with others is essential because it allows people to know where your head is at and what you need in order to feel comfortable. If you are the type of person who needs private time when you feel overwhelmed but you do not communicate that, people may keep approaching you to try and help. If you need someone to stay by your side and keep you accountable for your recovery, tell someone so they do not leave you and put you in a difficult position.
The other benefit of communicating how you feel is that someone may be able to help. Maybe someone at the party knows a good space for you to get some private time. They could also help talk you down if that is what you need to deescalate.
Knowing your triggers is another important part of managing yourself during events. This goes hand in hand with knowing your limits. Knowing what these two things are will help you react accordingly in situations where they may arise.
Say you are at a party. You know seeing heavily intoxicated people will trigger you. When you get to the party, you see that everyone is drinking but no one is drunk, but as the night progresses, people start crossing the line into becoming heavily intoxicated. Recognize that your limit has been reached and you need to implement an exit plan.
It is not enough to recognize your limits and triggers, you must have an exit plan to remove yourself from temptation. Think of an exit plan as a micro version of a crisis plan. Having an exit plan will benefit everyone, especially you. If you feel triggered or have hit your limit, you should have a plan to mitigate disaster. Try to make sure you have a safe space to retreat to or someone you can call to help extricate you from a situation in which you have become overwhelmed. Never stay in a position where your sobriety is put in jeopardy.
Another way to get through potentially triggering events is by going with someone else who is also sober. You can use this person as a confidante. You can treat this person like part of your group therapy. If you can, take someone who has more sober time than you and can walk you through the difficult moments you may face.
There are many benefits to having someone who is also sober. If or when things begin to border on your discomfort zone, you will have someone that you can rely on. Think of this person as your life raft and you are out in the ocean. You can swim away from it, but do not go too far and, when you do need it, it is there for you.
You may find that your first event sober is a nightmare. If you are unprepared, you might not be expecting the dangers to your sobriety you may face. You may find that you may have more triggers than you think or that your limit is different depending on the event. These are all okay and natural for you to experience.
With that being said, events do get easier. As they say, “Practice makes perfect,” so practice your sobriety management skills with safety nets like the things mentioned above in place.
Sober life can feel like a second chance. In many ways, it is. Yet, with second chances, there is a lot of relearning that needs to be done. In the case of events, you must relearn how to be when temptations are around. This is not always easy. What is important is to stay safe both physically and mentally. Avoiding triggers, knowing your limits, and having an exit plan are all things you can do to prevent a relapse.
Going to events when you are newly sober can be challenging. It can be difficult to know how to manage yourself and how to deal with others. Sometimes substances may be available at social events. Other times, the atmosphere or people you're with can be triggering. NorthStar Transitions, located in Boulder, CO, can help you navigate these situations. Our experienced staff can help you and the ones you care about learn to manage this difficult period in life. We offer support for those who are having issues with substance abuse whether it is your first time in treatment or if you're recovering from a relapse. If you or someone you know would like more information about treatment and recovery, we're always available to answer questions. You can take the first steps toward a better life by calling us today at (303) 558-6400.
