Success can be difficult to accept once you have entered recovery. It can feel like you do not deserve it due to decisions made in active addiction. As a result, not feeling worthy of your success can easily lead to self-sabotage. You may feel like this is the only logical way to make amends for what you did before entering recovery. However, that could not be further from the truth.
You make amends with those in your life by asking for forgiveness and proving you have changed. Self-sabotage only prevents you from moving forward, so you must understand self-sabotage, recognize its signs, and know that all it does is set you back, which can hurt the ones you love. Recovery should not be about making yourself suffer for your past. It should be about believing you can move forward and create a better future.
Self-sabotage includes behaviors that set you back from or hinder your goals. It can be a way to take away from your happiness or well-being as a personal form of “penance” for things you did in active addiction. Self-sabotaging does not solely apply to individuals in recovery or struggling with substance use disorder (SUD). Unfortunately, many people exhibit self-sabotaging behaviors in their everyday lives.
Additionally, self-sabotage is similar to negative self-talk. This is when you tell yourself you are not good enough or worthy of success. When you repeat these thoughts to yourself, you end up believing them. Then, when you try to succeed at something, you may fail because these negative ideas are ingrained in your mind and you hold back from doing your best.
A study from Scientific Reports discusses the effects of positive or negative self-talk on the alteration of brain functional connectivity. According to their research, positive self-talk can improve cognitive function, attention, and emotional regulation. It can even help with symptoms of anxiety and depression. However, people may not realize the power of words, even those simply in thoughts.
To avoid self-sabotage or negative self-talk, you must first understand why you might be doing it, then learn to overcome it.
There are many reasons people may self-sabotage. These reasons may relate to your childhood, past trauma, or struggle with mental illness. Some people may not even realize they are self-sabotaging. Just as self-sabotage can have various levels of consciousness and unconsciousness, the underlying reasons vary from person to person.
A common factor that causes people to turn to self-sabotage is low self-esteem. Individuals who struggle with confidence are more likely to sabotage themselves or their progress. As an example, you may not be comfortable with feelings of success, and setting yourself up for failure is, oxymoronically, more familiar and comforting.
A lack of self-esteem can also stem from childhood, past relationships, or other trauma. For example, someone in your life may have told you repeatedly that you are not good enough, making you start believing it. Ultimately, feeling like a failure is the more known sensation, and so it becomes easier than accepting success.
Self-sabotage is a relatively common struggle among individuals in addiction recovery. For that reason, you may benefit from discussing it with peers and professionals in an aftercare program. Aside from that, many people seek therapy to help them overcome this struggle. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been quite effective in helping individuals deal with self-sabotaging behavior. However, if CBT does not feel right just yet, Healthline offers the following tips to help you overcome self-sabotage:
When life in recovery is going well, do not back away. You deserve happiness and success, and you have the power to achieve it. Contact a professional today and do what it takes to maintain your forward momentum.
Self-sabotage is the act of throwing a wrench in your success despite what you want. In other words, it is engaging in behaviors that negate opportunities for success. That may include our jobs, relationships, or other areas of your life. These behaviors are common in individuals who suffer from low self-esteem or experience mental disorders such as substance use disorder (SUD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or generalized anxiety, to name a few. Individuals in recovery may feel the urge to self-sabotage because they feel they do not deserve a life of recovery. However, recovery is not about punishing yourself for your past. Recovery is about moving forward. You can cope with self-sabotaging behaviors by talking to a therapist or peer and following tips such as these to overcome self-sabotage. To learn more about or seek help in overcoming self-sabotaging behaviors, call NorthStar Transitions at (303) 558-6400.
