When you struggle with addiction, knowing who to turn to for support can be difficult. You know that you have a problem, and you know you need help. Family members are often the first group of people individuals with substance use disorder (SUD) may turn to for help.
Unfortunately, conversations about your SUD can be hard. Just because they are your family does not mean it will be an easy conversation. Addiction can cause you to do and say some damaging things, usually to those closest to you. You may also have to regain their trust, but with time and patience, you can get your family in your corner as you seek recovery.
Honesty is the key to having a successful conversation. Being honest doesn't just mean admitting you have a problem; it's also about vulnerability. The latter is often the more challenging part.
You may have used substances in the past to avoid dealing with problems. Whether those are mental health problems like anxiety or depression, the trauma you'd like to repress, or family conflict, substances don't fix those issues or make them disappear. You must be open with your family about these issues before healing can commence.
SUD is rarely the problem itself. It is often a symptom of deeper struggles, used to cover up or cope with the real issue. Talking to your family about your substance problem and other personal problems is important too.
Honesty is key here because you must show your family you are serious. Many people who struggle with substances get very good at lying, especially to family, to protect themselves or deflect blame.
If you struggle with defaulting to dishonesty, try writing down everything before you sit your family down to talk. Use these notes to keep you on track and help you reveal hard truths and your need for assistance and support.
Avoiding bringing up past wrongs is one of the more challenging parts of having a conversation with your family. The odds are that you have done something in your time of active addiction to hurt your family in some way.
If your family is hurt, they might want to express that when you try to have this conversation with them. This is not to say that your family isn't justified in how they feel—their feelings are just as valid as yours.
However, it's often best to avoid discussing past mistakes. Instead, gear the conversation toward restoration and moving forward, not dwelling on the past. You're looking for support, not trying to dredge up a record of wrongs to right.
If you focus too much of the conversation on the past, the conversation could get heated. You or your family members might get accusatory or defensive. A conversation from an argumentative standpoint leaves little room for being productive.
Some people in your family might not be familiar with how SUD works. It is not just wanting to use substances or an unwillingness to quit. A dysfunction in the brain makes your want for substances uncontrollable.
It can be tough for people who haven't been through SUD to understand the true nature of addiction. So many people think you can just stop whenever you want, but it is not that simple. SUD is a disease, and it needs to be treated as such.
Just like a physical ailment, this disorder needs treatment. Since the process involves reteaching the brain, the journey to recovery can be difficult. It is important to communicate this to your family, so they understand that recovery will take time, patience, forgiveness, and lots of work.
The most important part of the conversation should be about the next steps. Once you have admitted to your family that you have substance issues, talk about where to go. Talk about how you are going to get treatment.
For some people, that means going to a residential treatment facility. Others may only need outpatient care or a peer support group. In any case, aftercare is just as important as initial treatment.
Whatever your choice ends up being, it is important to have your family's support. Especially if you plan to go to treatment, you will need all the support you can get. Life continues even if you are in treatment and your family can help.
Ultimately, your family is there to love and support you. That means helping you when you are at your lowest. SUD can damage many things, but your family can still be there for you when you need them. They can help you through this challenging part of life, and you can all come out the other side of this a little closer.
Talking to your family about your substance use disorder is no easy task. It can be emotional. It can leave you feeling vulnerable and maybe even a little scared. There are things that you can do to communicate effectively. After you are done talking, what are your next steps? If you're seeking treatment at an experienced rehab facility, look no further than NorthStar Transitions, located in Boulder, CO. NorthStar Transitions has an excellent and experienced staff that can help you overcome your substance use disorder as well as get your family involved in the process. If you or someone you know needs treatment, call NorthStar today at (303) 558-6400 to learn more about our treatment programs.
