Are you struggling to support a friend in their addiction recovery journey? When people talk about addiction, they sometimes forget about its impact on the people around the ones with the addiction. Individuals in recovery need a stable support system. Turning to friends, family, and loved ones can mean all the difference between maintaining recovery and experiencing a relapse.
Unfortunately, it can sometimes be difficult as a friend, family member, or loved one to know how you can effectively support the person in recovery. You may ask yourself things like are there things you should avoid saying to them? How can you help them? What can you do to help them in their recovery journey? Even if you struggle to find your place in a friend’s recovery journey, showing them love, compassion, and support goes a long way.
Supporting a sober friend struggling with recovery requires you to understand what they are going through. For starters, addiction is an umbrella term that encompasses many struggles. Some people struggle with behavioral addictions, while others struggle with alcohol or substance use disorders (AUD and SUD).
Each individual's struggle with addiction is different. Therefore, every recovery journey is unique. To be the best support system member you can be, start by understanding that journey better.
Addiction Center defines behavioral addictions as “a set of behaviors that a person becomes dependent on and craves.” Common behavioral addictions include gambling, food, sex, or even mundane things like social media or the internet. It's easy to dismiss behavioral addictions as “not real” or “less harmful” than substance addictions. However, this is a very real condition and requires support to overcome as much as any other addiction.
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), AUD is a “medical condition characterized by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences.”
This disorder is one of the most common across the country. In fact, a 2019 national survey indicated that 14.1 million adults ages 18 and older were struggling with AUD. Unfortunately, AUD can cause lasting changes in the brain and poses a high risk of relapse. When your loved one is on the verge of relapsing with this condition, your support is invaluable.
SUD is similar to AUD. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) defines SUD as a “mental disorder that affects a person’s brain and behavior.” SUD ultimately leads to someone's “inability to control their use of substances such as legal or illegal drugs, alcohol, or medicines.”
The effect substances have on the brain makes relapse common. However, relapse is not a sign of failure. In fact, many professionals view relapse as a part of recovery. How someone handles a relapse is the biggest determinant of the future of their recovery. As a supportive friend, you can help your loved one struggling in recovery from SUD whether they're on the verge of relapse or have already relapsed.
Individuals in recovery are advised to join a support group as part of their aftercare work. Peer support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) provide individuals with a safe space to discuss their struggles with others who have been in similar situations.
Part of helping a friend with recovery is realizing that, unless you are in recovery yourself, there are certain things you may not understand. There are, however, several things you can do to help a sober friend struggling with recovery.
Individuals in recovery typically carry a great deal of guilt and shame surrounding their addiction and choices made while under the influence. When conversing about their struggles, fears of relapse, triggers, or related issues, speak to them with love and compassion, not judgment, fear, or harshness.
In addition to always speaking with love and compassion, active listening also goes a long way. Remember, your friend often simply needs to know someone is there for them. They don't expect you to fix all their problems. They are simply looking for you to listen.
Creating a substance-free environment can help your loved one stay on track. Individuals in recovery must learn to abstain from the substance or behaviors they are dependent on. However, they will face many triggers, especially early on in recovery. Creating an environment free of alcohol, drugs, or other evidence of dependencies not only helps with triggers or cravings but shows you are invested in them and their recovery.
Unfortunately, the line between enabling and supporting is thin. You want to support your friend but not in a way that excuses or diminishes addiction-related behaviors. Brush up on what constitutes enabling, and make sure your support doesn't tend in that direction.
Tell your friend you love them, are proud of them, and are there for them. Offer to go for a walk or out to a movie with them when cravings are particularly intense. Sometimes, just being there physically is enough to help. Recovery is a life-long process. Your friend needs to know you are with them for the long haul.
Finally, if you believe a friend requires further addiction treatment or is on the verge of relapse, do not hesitate to seek professional help.
Treatment is a single step in someone's recovery journey. Upon leaving treatment, individuals must find a support group, learn to cope with the many cravings they will experience, and reintegrate into their everyday lives. This reintegration process comes with many challenges. Having strong friendships can help people tackle these challenges. However, it can be difficult for the person in the supporting position to know how to effectively support a friend struggling with recovery. Understanding a friend's struggle with addiction, treating them with love and compassion, and being there in times of trouble can make all the difference between them maintaining recovery and relapsing. If you feel a friend is in need of treatment or is on the verge of relapse, consider seeking professional help. Call (303) 558-6400 to learn more about how you can support a friend struggling with their long-term recovery.
