When someone struggles with addiction, substance use disorder (SUD), or other co-occurring mental illnesses, their family is affected. Even when loved ones do not intend to hurt you, their life choices can impact you in many ways. As a parent struggling with addiction, you may feel guilt or shame. Addiction may have taken away your ability to function well at work, provide financially for your children, and parent them well.
If you have completed treatment and are now in recovery mode, you may be fearful about returning home. You may fear judgment from your family or feel unable to parent adequately. Hopefully, treatment taught you that recovery is not about focusing on the past. Rather, recovery is about moving forward, making amends, and becoming the person you want to be.
One way to balance being a parent with recovery is to take advantage of aftercare or alumni programs. Programs such as these provide continuing you with support after you have left treatment. Recovery is an ongoing process, and the first few months–or even years–after treatment can be challenging.
If you are new to life outside of treatment, you may be experiencing these challenges as we speak. In addition to caring for your children, you are also trying to navigate stressors, triggers, and real-world challenges. Aftercare programs provide you a place to connect with others, including other people who are also learning to parent well in recovery.
An alumni program is one of the best ways to stay connected to recovery and get support as you manage parenthood and sobriety. Some of the benefits you can experience from NorthStar Transition’s alumni program include:
Alumni programs are a very beneficial tool. Chances are, you will not be the only parent in a program such as this. Because you have peers with similar challenges, you may uncover some life advice from parents who have been where you are in recovery.
Similarly, take advantage of whatever resources are available. There are many online resources parents can utilize. If you are struggling to locate such resources, do not hesitate to contact your treatment team, doctor, or mental health professionals for guidance and support.
Now that you are in recovery, you have a unique opportunity to start fresh. However, depending on the age of your children, this may be challenging. The first step in effective post-treatment parenting is acknowledging this difficulty. If your child is older, they may harbor some feelings of anger or resentment. Validate those feelings and address them with your child, showing that you are remorseful and are trying to make amends. At the same time, do not let those feelings define you or your recovery. You are not the mistakes you have made, and you can help your child understand that.
In addition to acknowledging difficult feelings, you can begin reconnecting with your child and adopting good parenting practices by remaining open and honest. Admittedly, this is hard with younger children. Parents often want to shield their children from the difficult realities of this world. However, being upfront about your struggles is crucial to building a stronger bond with your child. By being open with your child, you can teach them about the complex brain disorder of addiction. Beginning open, honest conversations about SUD can keep them informed of the dangers and alternatives before they experiment with substances themselves.
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), “Parents have a significant influence in their children’s decisions to experiment with alcohol and other drugs.” As a result, SAMHSA also says, “When parents create supportive and nurturing environments, children make better decisions.”
SAMHSA'S online resource about why you should talk to your child about alcohol and drugs is a helpful tool for all parents. Even parents who are not struggling with SUD may have a hard time discussing substance use with their children. Yet, avoiding discussing the risks of drug and alcohol use can open the door to experimentation. Your struggle can be the cautionary and inspirational tale that motivates your children to avoid substance experimentation.
If you are a parent in recovery and feel the need for further support or resources, reach out to NorthStar today. Recovery is a lifelong process, and you do not have to go through it alone.
Finishing treatment and entering into recovery is a huge accomplishment. However, treatment is only the first stop in a much longer process. Recovery is a lifelong journey, and those new to sobriety can become overwhelmed. In particular, parents in recovery may grapple with their newfound sobriety and the everyday stress of parenting. If you're in a situation like this, know that you are not alone. By participating in aftercare support groups, you can gain insights from other parents who are in recovery. You can reconnect with your children by showing them you have changed, making amends, and explaining addiction is an illness. Being open and honest with your children means you can discuss the dangers of substance use and be the inspiring story that motivates them not to experiment. If you are a parent in recovery and require resources or support, call (303) 558-6400 today.
