Social support is one of the most important factors in achieving and sustaining lasting sobriety throughout long-term recovery. If you have recently completed treatment or are working to maintain healthy habits from rehab, it is crucial to evaluate your social support systems to ensure that they are contributing well to your healing. In particular, the quality of your friendships can make or break your recovery journey. Thus, by learning how to balance new and old friends in recovery, you can best prioritize your sobriety without letting old habits and friendships interfere with your progress.
At NorthStar Transitions, we understand how challenging it can be to balance new and old friends in recovery. For example, we recognize that not all loved ones will support your decision to pursue sobriety, which can trigger interpersonal conflict and hard feelings. As a general rule of thumb, work to prioritize the friendships that make you feel supported, confident, and empowered to become the best version of yourself.
Friendships play a vital role in our well-being, especially as we work to recover from the effects of substance abuse and addiction. According to an article in Frontiers in Psychology, “Friends provide us with a strong sense of companionship, mitigate feelings of loneliness, and contribute to our self-esteem and life satisfaction.” In addiction recovery, friends are there to celebrate our successes and accomplishments and offer unconditional love and support when we feel discouraged. Moreover, balanced friendships increase our sense of belonging and purpose, which can actively work to prevent relapse.
To ensure that your friendships benefit your healing in addiction recovery, it is essential first to evaluate the quality of your friendships – both new and old. Simply put, healthy friendships are built on mutual respect, where both people encourage one another to grow and change. On the other hand, unhealthy friendships often involve an imbalance of power. Moreover, in an unhealthy friendship, one person may feel threatened if the other person grows and changes on their own.
According to an article by Youth.gov, both healthy and unhealthy relationships share certain characteristics. In addition to mutual respect, some characteristics of healthy relationships include:
Meanwhile, in addition to an imbalance of power, some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include:
After reading this list, categorizing your current friendships as healthy or unhealthy is in your best interest. In recognizing the quality of your relationships, you will better understand how to navigate these friendships in addiction recovery.
Recognizing the toxicity of a friendship is never easy, whether it is a brand new friend made in treatment or a friend you have known for decades. However, it is the first step in creating necessary boundaries for yourself to avoid friendships that could potentially derail your recovery progress. Some specific warning signs to look out for as you navigate your friendships in recovery include those who:
If or when you recognize that a friendship is unhealthy, you may feel encouraged to sit down and discuss it with the other person. Before initiating such a challenging discussion, however, you must have boundaries set for the sake of your mental well-being and your sobriety. Setting boundaries requires you to define your limits and prioritize your needs.
An example of a boundary you may need to set for an unhealthy friendship is “I am uncomfortable continuing a friendship with someone who is unsupportive of my sobriety.” Another example is, “As I work to establish confidence in my sobriety, I am unwilling to surround myself with people who continue to engage in alcohol and other drug use.”
Once you are confident in the boundaries you have set for yourself, you can consider meeting with those with whom you share unhealthy friendships to discuss your needs. If a person does not honor what you need from them, it may be best for you to discontinue the friendship altogether. Further, know that there are other people who will support you on your journey to lasting sobriety.
It is important to recognize that boundaries are not only necessary in unhealthy friendships, but they are also vital for maintaining healthy friendships. Additionally, remember that as you grow and change throughout recovery, your needs will change, also. Thus, it is valuable to discuss your boundaries regularly with your close friends to ensure that they can both honor and respect your needs at any given time.
At times, you may find that the friends you made during treatment have overshadowed your friends outside of addiction recovery. To ensure a balance of new and old friends in recovery, you must maintain contact to the best of your ability. For instance, scheduling meet-ups ahead of time can serve as validation for keeping a balance of social support in and outside of recovery.
In addition, continuing participation in recovery support, such as alumni programs, can help you learn different ways of navigating friends in recovery without letting any fall to the wayside as you become the best version of yourself. Furthermore, the alumni program at NorthStar Transitions can provide the social support you need to thrive alongside others working to best navigate friends in and outside of recovery.
Learning how to balance new and old friends in recovery can be intimidating, especially if your old friends do not know how to effectively support your sobriety. First and foremost, it can be helpful to categorize your current friendships as either healthy or unhealthy. From there, it is necessary to set boundaries that honor your needs and prioritize your sobriety. Sharing your boundaries with friends, both new and old, can help you determine whether they will encourage your growth and healing or stand in the way of it. At NorthStar Transitions, we can help you set boundaries and balance friendships through our alumni program. Learn more by calling (303) 558-6400 today.
